In my last blog, I wrote about how you might be alone and feeling lonely at Christmas but, as you may be experiencing, you can have a partner and still feel lonely. Being with your partner for longer periods of time than usual over the festive period might have brought this home to you!
You may wonder how this could happen – the person that you first got together with because you ‘clicked’ so well but seem to have little in common with nowadays. There are lots of possible reasons that this might have happened including:
- Busy schedules – you’re both so busy with your jobs and family matters that you rarely spend time together.
- Your partner doesn’t acknowledge when you’re having a particularly hard time such as when your sister is ill and you’re worried about her. If there’s no emotional connection, there’s no real scope for support.
- You don’t talk about what you did throughout each day – maybe you feel there isn’t time or perhaps your partner looks bored when you try to tell them about what’s happened to you.
- One or other of you is always on their phone.
- Your partner bullies you – maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally by mocking you or ignoring you altogether (men or women can be guilty of this – either way, it’s not acceptable).
- There’s rarely any passion – no kisses, hugs or intimacy of any kind.
So, if this holiday period has left you wondering why you got together in the first place, take stock of what’s happened. If you feel lonely, it’s quite likely that they do too and if you want to get back that feeling of togetherness before it’s too late, try the following:
- Start sharing everyday experiences again – if your partner’s watching television in another room join them, even if you’re not particularly interested in what they’re watching.
- Suggest simple things like going for a walk or cooking a meal together where each of you does something towards it.
- Ask for what you want in the relationship and, in turn, ask your partner what they need to feel happier in your relationship.
- Make it clear that you’re tired of being emotionally bullied – it may seem funny to your partner, but it’s not acceptable.
- Make birthdays and anniversaries special days for both of you. Small things like a card or a cake can make such a difference.
Getting back that feeling of intimacy and love won’t happen overnight but, as you go into a new year, be hopeful that you can get back that loving feeling and no longer feel lonely in your relationship.
I hope that you’ve found this blog helpful – please comment if you’d like to do so and you can follow me as well, meaning that you’ll get an update each time I write something new.