This is an adaption from a quote by the author Margaret Overton in her book about divorce, dating and ‘other near-death experiences’. What she says is so true, as I’ve found in my own life – everything can change from what and who you trust, your health or that of a loved-one, your home and family…..the list goes on.
Of course, we all know that but, even so, when the moment arrives and everything you depended on changes, it’s often still a huge shock. Then, we have to try to change and adapt and that all takes time. Some people find change easier than others and can ‘roll with the changes’.
It’s not only about how we adapt to change though, but about living in the moment and appreciating what we have right now rather than yearning for what we hope to happen in the future.
Whether you’re a young person, saving up a deposit for a mortgage or to travel, that’s your current goal, but it’s important to enjoy what’s going on now as well. Does that sound impossible? Well, your youth and hopefully your health are at optimum levels right now – make the most of them, revel in them, enjoy what you can do now rather than what you’ll achieve in the future.
If you’re a young parent experiencing sleepless nights and the endless needs of young children, try to enjoy this stage – soon your children will be teenagers and that will bring its own issues. You probably won’t get this time again, unless you start a second family (and that will come with its own challenges!) so try to hold onto the fact that this time will pass, your toddler will stop throwing food around, you will eventually be able to have a cup of coffee in peace and have a tidier house, if this is what you yearn for.
Later on, middle-age brings its own challenges – maybe a partner leaves, you have the care of an elderly parent or you’re made redundant. These aren’t easy challenges to deal with although previous life-experiences may help you through. Again, make the most of this time – it will have its advantages, even though you can’t see them right now.
If you’re older and feeling your age, beset with health problems or money worries, this is possibly the most challenging time of all as youth and its optimism aren’t on your side. But, life is still there to be enjoyed and even simple things can help you through.
This isn’t a lecture about the stages of life though – it’s about enjoying what’s going on right now, trying to see the positives even though they might seem elusive. Throughout my life, I’ve seen how some people have a very positive world view, despite negative or sad things happening to them.
Some of my work as a psychotherapist was about challenging clients’ views about themselves and other people – if you’ve grown up in a negative environment or one where you were often pulled down, it can be hard to change your views of yourself and what happens, but it’s not impossible and, with some work on yourself, you can look at things in a different way.
However, the main thing is to enjoy this time, not ruminate too much about yesterday or fret about tomorrow. Take today, enjoy it and take the good things from it to reflect on. Good luck with this – let me know what you think.
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