Is there such a thing? Can you really be too nice?

I was talking about this with a friend recently and we agreed that sometimes being nice can be a disadvantage, even if you have good intentions. 

Being nice has its advantages … in counselling terms it’s called ‘helper’s high’ because feel-good endorphins are released in the brain when we help other people. 

However, it can also be detrimental to our own health if we put others first most of the time. Maybe there’s a high price to pay…

Constantly putting other people’s needs before our own can lead to exhaustion and burnout. Also, there’s a chance that we’ll become resentful if others start taking advantage and expect favours without returning them.

As well as people possibly taking advantage of us, niceness makes some people feel uncomfortable, mainly because they feel wary and wonder if we have another agenda. 

Part of being nice can be the result of conditioning, maybe from childhood or societal expectations but whatever the reasons, think about reclaiming boundaries by not always agreeing to help out. 

You don’t have to say a blunt “no” though; try “I’ve got a lot on right now. Let me think about it” or “I’m at full capacity right now. Maybe someone else could help this time”.

That way, you can still help out but not all the time and people will start respecting your boundaries. 

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