It’s not easy coping with moody people, whether that’s at home or work. It can feel as if their moodiness is due to something you’ve done or said, but that’s rarely the case, even though they might try to tell you otherwise.

If you want or need to find a way to cope with them (you love them because they’re part of your family or you work with them and want to make things more tolerable) here are some ways to help yourself with this:

• First of all, try to stay calm; keep your voice soft and your tone of voice steady, otherwise you’ll find yourself feeding into the drama.
• Don’t take it personally; it feels personal but most of the time it’s about them and their inability to control their moods. That says more about them than you!
• Remember that you don’t have to fix things for them, nor do you have to let it ruin your day.
• Set some clear boundaries and don’t let them treat you badly; if you allow them to use their bad mood to get their own way, they’ll never have to be accountable for their behaviour.
• If possible, give them some space and let them calm down. It’s better to wait until they’re feeling better rather than have an argument at the time. If they’re being unfair or shouting it’s best to leave the situation if at all possible. If you’re at work, go back to your desk or workspace. It’s important that you don’t allow yourself to be bullied into submission about a topic.
• If it’s possible, wait until they’ve calmed down and try to discuss things then. They will hopefully be more receptive to what you’re saying then.

It’s human nature to want to help people who are struggling emotionally but most people in that situation don’t want someone to fix their pain; mostly, they want to feel that they’re understood. The best way to help is something called reflective listening which means reflecting back to them whatever they’ve said. This is more helpful than trying to fix things and hopefully they will feel able to share some of what they’re experiencing.

Hopefully you’ve found this helpful and will find it useful when interacting with moody people that you come into contact with, either in your personal relationships or at work.

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